Let me just say that I never meant to get old. It snuck up on me, suddenly. Or at least it seemed as if it was suddenly. I looked in the mirror and there they were. They being lines, fine I might add but wrinkles none the less. But I guess when I look back on things I’ve had clues for years that my age was close behind.

The first wrinkles I saw were on my neck. About 10 years ago I glanced up in my car’s rearview mirror and saw a neck looking back at me. I gasped and squeaked out, “Whose neck is that anyway?” (to no one in particular since I was the only person in the car) I swear it took several seconds of staring at the reflection before I realized that THAT was my neck. Where did those lines come from? I had thought that very morning when I was putting on my makeup that I had a fine firm looking neck. I guess the lighting in my car was just a lot brighter than the lighting in my bathroom. When I realized that I was staring at myself and that I had been for quite awhile, I quickly directed my attention back to the road. After all, I was trying to merge onto a major interstate and you know how people get when they are rear-ended by someone with a crinkley lined neck? It’s much better to get hit by someone with tight firm skin than by someone with 2 double swinging chins.

Then there was the time I turned 40. I couldn’t see anymore. That also happened overnight. I am not one to be an alarmist, my cup is always half full. But what else would explain my sudden inability to see except for diabetes. That affects your eyesight doesn’t it? I made an appointment with the eye doctor and after all the questions, “which one is better, A or B” “when do E and F come together” “Ok now, are you sure neither A or B is clearer” and then the final inevitable question, “How old are you?” With that answered I got the definitive diagnosis and remedy, “You need bifocals”. Well, I don’t need to say anymore about that subject. If you’re at that 40ish age you understand the trials and tribulation of trying to find the right glasses that look stylish but still correct the problem or trying to wear both contact lenses and those low riding reading glasses or using bifocal contacts that neither allow you to see well faraway or close up etc. etc. etc. I said I wasn’t going to say anything more on that subject, didn’t I?

But, back to hot flashes and those other inevitable signs of aging. Who’s to say that a flushed face and neck aren’t young and energetic looking? Maybe when people see me they just think I’ve have been running a marathon. (Unfortunately the rounded shape of my body nullifies that last thought.) Seriously, I’ve had a lot of small hot flashes and 10 or 12 full-fledged, full powered hot flashes. Slowly those started years ago. “What’s that”, I would wonder. “Is the air on? Why isn’t anyone else fanning themselves? Surely I don’t have diabetes. No, that causes eye problems not sweating.” And on and on that went until after having a few episodes I remembered how my mother used to complain about those hot flashes. One more thing that I hadn’t been sympathetic enough with her about. You know that “forever young” idea of that won’t happen to me and I won’t act like that etc. etc. etc.

Then my one last minor aging issue. “Where did I put that, that, that, what was I looking for?” problem. Is there anything more aggravating than to not know what you’re looking for or not know what you were just about to say? Years ago I would always trust my memory over someone else’s memory. If it came to remembering anything I was your woman. But now if someone disagrees with me over an issue of the past I always believe that other person. Especially if it’s something that happened in the recent past, like last week. Now I just console myself with the tried and true cop out of, “Well, if I remembered everything I knew, then my head would just explode. Some things just have to drop out”.

So now I have first hand knowledge that time waits for no one. It marches on even when we are not looking and sneaks up on us when we are not expecting it. But, sometimes with aging come good surprises. Like that day in May 2005 when I walked down the aisle of that beautiful little white church holding the hands of my 2 soon to be step daughters. At the front of the church stood the other handsome 7 year old triplet with my soon to be brand new husband. Now that’s a surprise for a “middle aged” girl that hadn’t been married in the last two decades. When that happens, the children make you forget the wrinkles, the bifocals and hot flashes. They make you think about playing dolls, army and having your makeup and hair done in ways that you never thought possible. Maybe age just is a state of mind.