LONE STAR STATE OF MIND – Desperately Seeking Sleep
By Christy Cross
I remember telling myself, when Aiden was a tiny newborn, that I would get to sleep again soon. As moms, we can’t wait until they “sleep through the night” so that we can too. I don’t know about y’all,but I’m STILL waiting.
Because Aiden is hooked up to a dialysis machine while he sleeps, we rock him most nights just to make sure he is sleepy and will not be trying to “play” with said machine. Sometimes he’s out in 5 minutes, but usually it’s closer to an hour…or 3. Once his breathing slows and he takes on the appearance of a tiny angel (they are so sweet when they sleep) I sneak him across the room and try to place him into bed without any disturbance. (not easy, as I am navigating through a land mine of Tonka Trucks and dinosaurs).
Finally! He’s asleep and in bed…..ah, sweet rest.
I tip toe from the room, make a mad dash to my bed and settle in for some quality sleep. Approximately 6 minutes and 32 seconds later (right as I’m about to doze off) comes the incessant BEEP, BEEP, BEEP of the dialysis machine. I bolt from the bed in an attempt to quiet the machine before it wakes up the Toot (tripping over Tonka Trucks again) and fix whatever is offending the machine (usually Aiden has flopped over on his tube). I tip toe out of the room and repeat mad dash to bed.
Approximately 20 minutes later, the Toot alarm goes off “Mama! I need a drink of water!” *BIG SIGH* and here we go again.
If I was a DVD/CD player you could set me to “repeat” — the cycle is just like that. So here I am…. 2 1/2 years later and still waiting for a full night of sleep. I’m still holding on to the hope that such a thing does exist after children.
Please tell me my hope is not in vain… Please tell me one day soon that I will “sleep through the night”.
Twitter: @aidenscross
