THE DR. PHILBILLY SHOW – Cheap Sunglasses
Just when I think my life couldn’t get any more strange I just had to go and prove myself wrong. Tuesday afternoon I loaded up my truck to head back to Atlanta, GA. I went down my check list and everything was in order. All I had to do now was put on my sunglasses and hit the road.
“My sunglasses. Where are my sunglasses?” I said to my wife, Melissa.
Finally I spotted them sitting on the kitchen table and I picked them up ready to head out the door. As soon as I picked them up the suckers snapped smooth in half…right across the nose piece. “Cheap sunglasses!”
I started to throw them in the trash and Melissa says “Don’t throw them away, I can fix them.”
She proceeds to get a tube of Krazy Glue. She puts them back together again then hands them to me. I put them on and I be danged if they didn’t fit better than they did before!
Later that day, it’s getting late and I had been driving about five hours. I need some gas so I pull into a gas station. I get out of the truck and go to take off the sunglasses and they don’t budge.
“Craaaaaaaaaap!” They are stuck to my face!
That Krazy Glue is some really good stuff. It feels like I’m gonna rip my face off if I pull too hard but I can’t drive in the dark with shades on.
So I go into the bathroom and try to figure this out. Inside there’s a man washing his hands who then turns on the hot air blower.
So I go to the blower, turn it on and twist is up toward my face. I lean over it so the hot air can heat up the plastic and hopefully loosen it enough so I can pull off these stupid glasses. Sounds crazy right? Well it worked. They fell right off.
I threw them in the trash, splashed some water on my face and dried it with a paper towel. As I was paying for my gas I noticed the cashier looking at me real funny. Then as I was pumping my gas I noticed that she and another worker was starring at me threw the window pointing and laughing. Now this has happened before so when I got in my truck the first thing I did was look in the rear-view mirror.
There was some glue left on my face and when I dried it off a piece of paper towel ripped off and stuck to it. It tore in the shape of a nice pretty little brown butterfly. My face was beet red from the hot air and my hair was sticking straight up. I looked like a bright red tomato with a brown butterfly landing on it and a Chia Pet growing out of the top.
Gas $30, cheap sunglasses $5.99, ticket to see a talking Chia Pet Tomato pumping gas…Priceless. I’m just sayin’!