THE DR. PHILBILLY SHOW – New Year’s Eve
A few years back we had a huge New Years Eve party at my house. I had bought tons of fireworks and I had planned to put on a big display for my guest. Behind my house is a large clearing where the boys ride their 4 wheelers and everyone backed their trucks up into a semi-circle around a bon fire so the kids could sit in the back and look at the display.
When I was done, I had an idea!
Hmmm, not good. My ideas tend to get me in a little trouble some times, but this was a really good one. I went and got my bow and an arrow from the shed, unscrewed the tip off the arrow, taped a giant bottle rocket to it and pulled it back ready to launch. I had a friend light the fuse and I aimed it straight up at the stars and waited until the fuse burned down to just the right moment (timing is the key.) With one smooth release I sent this thing sailing straight up in the air and waited for the rocket to take off. And I waited and waited. It should be taking off at any time now. Just a few more seconds and the magic will begin!
Then the strangest thing happened.
The arrow stopped, turned around and started to fall back down. I mean really, what are the odds it will come back our way? The fact that it was falling back down in our direction was bad enough, but then all heck breaks loose. The fuse finally burned down and the rocket took off leaving a vapor trail behind it. People are running, diving and ducking for cover as this camouflaged ssile heads straight for the back of my truck!
Well, the rocket lands in my truck and the fireworks begin. Did I mention that I had more fireworks in the back of my truck? By now the smoke is so thick I can’t tell if anyone is still in it so I jumped in the back of the truck to save anyone who’s there. The fireworks started popping all around my feet and I’m dancing around like an armadillo getting beat with a broom.
Thank the good Lord no one was in the truck!
As the smoke cleared I see this figured emerge with its arms crossed, eyes glowing red and a foot patting a beat that sounds all too familiar. So I yell at this mysterious figure “BACK TO HELL DEMON!”
Oh, my bad, it’s just my wife. She says “Are you ok, Honey?”
Thinking she was worried about me I said, “Yes I’m fine.” Then she says “Wayne, you’re a moron.” Then she slowly turned and walked away. Happy Dang New Year!